


Always Been You

by shaeheda



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Bellarke, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 14:46:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19428136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaeheda/pseuds/shaeheda
Summary: “She thinks I’m in love with you.” he stated bluntly before he felt the burn of the alcohol travel down his throat.It was like a shock to Clarke’s system and it was a long moment before she collected herself enough to slowly begin to sit down on the couch. Once she was seated she shot down her drink in one gulp to steady herself before she dared to glance in his direction “Oh… and are you?”





	Always Been You

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw a barnes-107th tumblr post about a bellarke dream she had and so I kind of ran with it. 
> 
> I don't hate Echo, in fact I like her. If you came here with the hope that I might demonize Echo you will be extremely disappointed. This is a bellarke fic with a bellarke ending, but I don't think I need to tear a character down in order to do that.

Its been weeks in the making. It started out as a little petty fight about the dishes and it wasn’t long before their little arguments were happening more frequently eventually escalating into hour long screaming matches every night. 

Bellamy couldn’t pin point when or why things had changed between him and Echo. All he knew was that he wanted to make things work, he had to.

He paused just outside the door of their apartment. He held his keys in his hand and took a deep breath before slipping them into the lock. It shouldn’t be like this, he shouldn’t dread coming home. He shouldn’t be expecting a fight every night. But that’s the way it was.

It wasn’t always this way. He vaguely remembered a time when they were happy, before they moved in together. Since then, since things began to get more serious between them he could feel his happiness slipping away. He could feel himself falling into a void. He could remember at the beginning when he first started seeing Echo how she was this wonderful distraction. A chance at a life that wasn’t filled with disappointment because Clarke didn’t love him back. They were friends and that’s all they were ever going to be.

Walking through the hallway he caught a glimpse of Echo sitting at their dining room table looking down and picking at the placemats they had bought last week. That had also been a fight, one he let her win. He didn’t have the energy to fight over something so materialistic, much like he didn’t have the energy for another fight tonight. 

She didn’t seem mad, she seemed calm and at ease. Maybe they wouldn’t fight tonight. Maybe things would be okay, maybe things would get better for them. He wasn’t sure which version of her he should be more worried about. 

Bellamy wanted to tread carefully because he wasn’t sure what reaction he would get from her so he simply offered a soft “Hey” in her direction to make his presence known.

“You’re in love with her aren’t you?” it wasn’t like Echo to beat around the bush and this instance was no different.

His jaw having gone slack not expecting that statement, it was a long beat before he was able to compose himself and form a complete sentence. “Who are you talking about? Echo I love you, there’s no one else.”

She should have known better than to think this would be easy. Sure relationships weren’t meant to be easy but, they weren’t supposed to be this hard. No relationship should leave you with a pit feeling in your stomach. That wasn’t love, that wasn’t what she deserved “In love with Clarke, Bellamy. You’re in love with Clarke.”

Bellamy made his way over to the dining room table to take a seat across from Echo “I’m not in love with Clarke.”. He went to reach for her hands and offer comfort but she pulled away instantly at the contact. She couldn’t give him an inch, if she did she would loose her resolve. This had to be done. They both deserved that much.

“She’s my best friend, has been since we were kids that’s all. I’m not in love with her that’s crazy Echo.” he finished.

She had to laugh, it was all she could do at this point. She’d spent all day going through the five stages of grief, finally reaching acceptance just moments before he walked in the door “It’s not crazy Bellamy. I lost track of the amount of times you’ve been late to a date night or had to reschedule because you needed to be there for Clarke. I let it slide because I thought you were being a loyal friend and that was something I should admire about you. Then at the movie night last month I looked at you towards the end when the main character Ben was confessing his love for Andie and you weren’t looking back at me, you were looking at her. That’s when it all clicked”

He wanted so badly to stop her from hurting, he tried to defend his actions but what could he say? Still he had to try “Echo I’m-”

Her hand immediately went up because it was no use, her mind was made up. If there was one thing he was sure about with her it was that once her mind was set there was no changing it. “Bellamy don’t. I tried to ignore it these past couple weeks, I thought maybe I was just imagining it but I wasn’t, it’s always been right in front of my face and I was just too naive to see it. Don’t try to tell me you don’t love her, we both know you do.” 

She let out a sigh before she went on to finish “Bellamy I deserve someone who is going to put all of themselves into a relationship with me. You’ve only been putting half of your heart into us and I think we both know who has the other half.”

With her last sentiment she got up from the table, grabbed her duffle bag, and walked out the door, out of Bellamy’s life. He hadn’t even noticed her bag by the door when he came in. How did he not notice?

As he sat there going over every moment he’d had with Clarke he started to wonder _‘was Echo right?’_ Impulse took over as he realized only one person could answer that question.

He began to fidget as he waited for Clarke to open her door, his nervous energy taking him over completely.

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise as she opened the door “Bellamy! What are you doing here? Didn’t you have a date night with Echo?” 

She had a pair of sweats on and one of Bellamy’s old shirts that she had stole back in high school. Both were covered in paint. Her hair was in a mess on the top of her head, curls poking out of her bun in all different directions. He loved when she looked like this, to him this was the most beautiful look on her.

“I did but she.. uh she broke up with me.” He rubbed the back of his neck because he knew the next part of the conversation could change his life forever, for better or worse.

She opened the door wide enough to be a substitute for a verbal invitation. “Bell I’m so sorry. What happened?” leaving the door open for him to come in she made her way to the kitchen because this was the kind of situation that called for the hard stuff.

As he walked through her apartment he could hear the distinct sound of her ruffling through her cabinets for booze and glasses. _'Good.’_ he thought _'I’m gonna need it.’_

As she walked towards the couch she outstretched her hand to hand him a drink.

“She thinks I’m in love with you.” he stated bluntly before he felt the burn of the alcohol travel down his throat.

It was like a shock to Clarke’s system and it was a long moment before she collected herself enough to slowly begin to sit down on the couch. Once she was seated she shot down her drink in one gulp to steady herself before she dared to glance in his direction “Oh… and are you?”

Bellamy didn’t know what response to expect from Clarke but it sure wasn’t that. It was obvious her response had taken him by surprise as he fumbled over his answer “Uh” a slight shake of his head to try and clear the millions of thoughts plaguing him “Yeah, you know I think I always have been but I convinced myself that you didn’t feel the same way so I just kept it to myself because I didn’t want to loose you.” 

He braced himself for the second time that night “Do you feel the same way?” 

This was it. Everything would change.

He could feel his chest lowly tighten in anticipation. The palms of his hands began to sweat. He played with the idea of leaving, pretending that maybe he was experiencing some sort of aneurysm.

Clarke let out a bellied laugh. Receiving a shocked glance from Bellamy she tried to contain her laughter as best she could.

“Are you really laughing right now?” Yeah he should definitely leave, her laughing could not possibly be a good sign. If he left now he might be able to salvage his pride somehow. At least salvage it enough to be able to be in the same room as her. But he couldn’t move. He was stuck.

She saw a flash of hurt across his face and it sobered her instantly “Not for the reasons you think.” She locked in on his eyes in hopes to convey the truth she was about to share “I’ve thought about this moment countless times, dreamed about it even. In every scenario I have planned out every word I wanted to say to you. Now that you’re here and it’s happening, it’s like the happiness has scrambled my brain and I can’t remember what I wanted to say to you, what I had practiced telling you thousands of times.”

He thinks he understands what she’s trying to say but he needs to hear the words leave her mouth to be sure, because if he’s wrong he doesn’t think he could handle it. So he questions “Is this your way of saying you’re in love with me too?”

She flashes her thousand watt smile that he loves so much before she says “Yes of course I am you big dork.”

He lets out the breath he had been holding since the moment he confessed his love for her. 

He spent years loving her. He spent years thinking that all they would ever be was friends, and it hurt but that was okay with him because at least she would still be in his life. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he knew why he had kept his feelings for her a secret but, she had always told him everything. She was always so open, or so he thought.

In truth she had probably always loved him, it was impossible not to. Others saw it before she did. 

Octavia had seen it the night he took Gina to the senior prom. Both girls were freshman and not allowed to go to the dance, so they opted to have a sleepover at the Blake’s and watch horror movies all night, stuffing their faces with popcorn and various candies. He stopped at the door to grab his keys before turning around to both girls to ask how them how he looked. Octavia excitedly nodded her approval before turning to Clarke wondering why she had suddenly gone silent after their giggle fit moments earlier. Clarke’s throat went dry as reality hit her in the face like a harsh ocean wave. He looked beautiful, he was always beautiful but, this was different. She realized both sibling were looking at her expectedly. She forced a smile telling him he looked great before he whipped the front door open to go pick up his girlfriend, his girlfriend that was most certainly not Clarke. As soon as he shut the front door she nervously spared a glance at Octavia to see a smirk painted on her face. Clarke was able to wave Octavia’s suspicions off for the night as she pressed play on their movie. It wasn’t the last of Octavia’s teasing but as time went on she was able to convince herself he would never feel the same.

Raven was the next to notice, teasing them both when the other wasn’t around or wasn’t paying attention. Game night had become a tradition in college. Raven had become a permanent fixture after the first semester of their sophomore year. ‘The Finncident’ they called it. Clarke was finally starting to feel like herself again, and the others no longer tiptoed around her in fear that she might break. Halfway into an intense game of Cranium, Clarke and Bellamy were racing against the timer to answer a trivia question butting heads as usual. Eventually the timer had run out yet they both continued to argue. Everyone knew better than to interrupt their disagreements, so they all dispersed to refill their drinks and fill up on the pizza in the kitchen. Raven had only been to one other game night so she had stayed to watch the two of them battle it out. After another minute or so Raven called the group back to the living room to let them know Clarke and Bellamy had finished their argument, but not before catching Clarke steal a glance at Bellamy’s lips before returning eye contact as the rest of the group filtered back into the room. Of course in true Raven fashion, she had interrogated her about it later that night and continued to tease Clarke about her crush till this day.

She braced herself because while she had played this conversation out a million times in her head actually having it happen was a completely different kind of terrifying. “There was always something you know? Either you were with Gina or I was getting over Finn.” she took a deep breath “I almost told you once. I had everything I was going to say planned out, Raven even helped me pick out an outfit. I waited till everyone had left the table to go dance or play darts. I even gave myself a little pep talk before you came back to the table.” 

He remembered the night that she was talking about. He had noticed her nervous behavior but had chalked it up to the fact that she was waiting to hear back about a job interview she had earlier that day.

“When you got back to the table and handed me a beer, that’s when I was going to tell you but then I saw the piece of paper you slipped into your pocket. You told me it was Echo’s number and I guess I kind of just took that as a sign that we weren’t meant to be anything more than friends.” she shrugged her shoulders.

That night Echo had confessed that she had noticed him a few weeks prior and had since been working up the courage to ask him out. 

It was his turn to laugh. When Clarke heard the laugh escape his lips she looked up towards him. While his laugh was the most beautiful songs she’s ever heard she could help the reflex to smack him in the shoulder. She wanted to be mad that he was laughing at her but how could she be? His laugh was infectious and before she knew it she was laughing too.

“Our friends were right, we are idiots.”

She rolled her eyes then smiled at him “Don’t let them hear you say that or we will never hear the end of it.”

She’s pulled him by his shirt collar to close the distance between them capturing his lips in a kiss that was far better than something both of them could have ever dreamed of.

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the tumblr post that inspired this one-shot
> 
> https://barnes-107th.tumblr.com/post/185666778966/ahsjdfnfhkl-guysi-had-a-bellarke-dream-last
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @shaemysterious


End file.
